I dozed off listening to an audio book as usual. Most of my days are spent getting knowledge in my head. Anyway when I awakened in the middle of the night, I felt the clouds lift from my brain. I could feel space up there again. CLARITY!
I have given so many clients clarity, but feeling it for myself is something else. It feels so good. For the first time I know how they feel to have that veil of fear, doubt and confusion lifted off their shoulders after years of trying to figure it out.
Us geniuses can truly feel things going on in our mind. We can feel space being created. This time the shift came from TRULY understanding the depth of how I’ve manifested my life. Which means I now feel better about my self-worth. I know why I charge so much. I know like I know that I can give almost anyone the shifts they need. Heck if Oprah herself needs clarity I can make it happen. And I said that as simple as that. It’s a fact. But you know what? I’m not bsing you. I mean it straight from my heart. It seems so simple to just say it. It’s a whole other thing to know it 100% and you’re not even just talking yourself into it. To finally get to the point where it’s like saying you’re going to walk in the kitchen and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
This great shift started the other day after I spoke to this divine man that told me what a few of my problems were with how I treated him. After that another man voluntarily hopped in my inbox to drop some knowledge on me about how I could improve my business. Another friend asked me if I wanted to go out of the country with him, again.
When I wake up in the morning I have two appointments. One with a soulmate client. This woman is so freaking amazing!
Later this week I get to finally see this amazing guy!
I am finally closing in on a book cover. I have the first draft of a good one. That gave me so much clarity. I just needed to see the vision so desperately. It will be for sale on Amazon within the next two weeks.
For the past year I have been confused, trying to figure things out, helping people along the way, telling people to hire my soulmate coaches if they needed help, cause I was honest about my sh*t, trying to figure out WHO I was called to serve. It wasn’t just about doing anything for the heck of it. I wasn’t about to get caught up in chasing money. For I learned that once you find your heart the money will come anyway.
So I decided that I’m here to serve geniuses. The Gods & The Goddesses. I want to pair them together and help them find each other. They belong together. They’ve been misaligned with the wrong people all of their life.
Like today I had another man call me and give me some random advice. I noticed he said something to me that the 2nd guy who randomly gave me advice also said to me. He said “You can take this how you want to but I gotta say what I need to say.” These men weren’t even saying anything negative about me. They were simply giving me their opinions and advice on how I could improve my business. They are so accustomed to trying to help ungrateful women who can’t receive, and don’t value or appreciate their help, that they avoid giving it out.
Meanwhile I went my whole damn life basically helping myself cause I didn’t have many people to help me. I was helping boyfriends and everyone else. You see what I mean about the misalignment?
Even more I think of how I’m finally writing this book. Now I can clearly see my path to $300K months. What’s even crazy I know that I’m going to hit that $300K months and quickly be onto $1 Million months. I know how my mind works, and I know how fast I move and grow once I get a system down.
I’m about to quantum leap. I’ve done this before. I’ve went from being homeless to living in a luxury condo. I’ve went from not having $700 in rent to getting checks for $20K a month. Even then I didn’t stop there, the checks kept getting bigger. Higher and higher. Until big money became my norm.
But what very few people ever understood about me is that when I talk about God, I mean the things I say about him. I’ve always been guided. I didn’t necessarily know how I was pulling off the things I did. I mean sure yes, I keep a positive attitude. Yes, I even believe in myself greatly. Yes I’m confident. Yes, I still sit down and do the work obsessively. Yes, I even live from my heart and love people, despite most people thinking that being a loving person is weird. Despite having men who broke my heart. But the vision that’s in my head, I didn’t give myself that. That’s implanted by God. Maybe he gives us all one. I just know that I have visions of being at Oprah status and I know with 100% certainty that I’m up next. I can’t take credit for that. That’s God talking to me.
But damn! The sh*t that I had to go through to make it through to this space…. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’d rather show them an easier way.
Like my first mentor was so bad (I don’t like to talk bad about people) that I developed a fear of failing my clients. I didn’t want anyone to ever experience what I did. She also taught me some things. She’s a lightworker kind of stuck in Hollywood. She’s been programmed. So she was programming me and pretty much was all about the money, yet at the same time she did instructs us to give clients full transformation. So I appreciate her for that. However, she literally told me to stop blogging. I mean it’s not hard to see I’m a gifted writer. Who would tell me such a thing? She had another gifted girl in her program that left too. Some of these coaches have simply been coached by a coach and they are passing the same info down. That ain’t me. I align with source to get downloads for my clients. I operate in the spirit realm.
Anyway, I tend to think people are stupid when they mismanage me or mismanage their access to me. In my head it’s common sense that I’m going Oprah status. It just seems like common sense to do right by me.
But whatever, I’m not one to stick to a victim story, even when maybe I was victimized… I mean even rape, I won’t stick to that story either.
I’ll tell my story in a book soon. I’m just happy to have finally arrived in this space of pure abundance. It feels so sexy. With this new level of consciousness and awakening, I’m forever unstoppable and will forever joyously live from my heart.
A friend told me today that he was so proud of me. I met him right after I’d broken up with the last boyfriend. He reminded me of how hurt I was, but how I kept a positive attitude and told myself that everything would be okay. This past year has been one of the greatest transformations of my life. And I did it. I changed my life again. I’ve changed other’s lives along the way. I humbled myself and went through the process. I can go back to being me now. I can stop giving everyone easy access to me.
I see the beauty of my life again as it unfolds. My gratitude, hope and love for life has been restored. I see men in a whole new way. I’m surrounded by Kings. I see in a way I always was. They just weren’t for me, because my King goes hard.
I have an amazing, beautiful, talented gifted female friend who pours love and support into me the same I pour support into her. She’s not judging me, being jealous or trying to find fault in me. She’s all heart, completely angel. She’s the first female reflection of me I’d ever encountered.
My soulmate family drops in just when I need them to help me. Whatever I need simply shows up when I command it to and trust. But once again, getting here was no easy feat.
If I can tell you any lesson to learn from this is to never doubt God. The process may be crazy, but just know, it’s going to be beautiful on the other side. He will provide and give you everything you need. Surrender.
I’ve always been a highly confident person.. I have a photo of myself when i was 6 looking like a lil diva. I always knew I was smarter than average. My confidence always revolved around that fact. As I got older my looks started changing and suddenly I realized that not only am I smart, but that I’m also a badd chick. One day I got to the point that I was so glamorous that I noticed that when I walked into a room all heads turned and it would momentarily go silent. I was already arrogant, but then my confidence really skyrocketed because I knew I had much more going for myself than just some average looking girl who was smart.. I ran circles around girls like that.
Then I got raped on the one day I decided to wear jeans and a t-shirt. I was casual, completely covered, no titties popping. Because it happened on that day, in that outfit, that disturbed me. I could have let it destroy me, but instead it eventually made me own my sexuality. I’m sexy as phuck even if I’m wearing a garbage bag. (Another incident where a man was all over me.. ) I realized sex appeal isn’t something that I can do anything about, nor is it a bad thing. I ooze it. If flows from my blood.. Men are pretty much powerless against it. Accepting who I AM gave me a little bit of power.
Around that time, life began to beat me up again and again. I started making bad decisions trying to survive and emotionally cope. I dated a bad man because my life was being destroyed. I was losing and dealing with too much at one time so he was able to come into my life, pretend to want to help me, but latch on to me like a leech and destroy it some more. He really tried to beat me down physically and emotionally. But he told me “Kissy, yes you are smart, but it’s not about having knowledge. It’s about how you apply it.” I forget a lot of things, but I will never forget that.
After that, I managed to get back on my feet a little, only to be knocked down again by another leeching man who I’d left far behind over a decade ago. That one right there should have destroyed me forever. I should’ve been finished, over with and done for. But thankfully I found God in a deep way and began to pray without cease.. During that time, I had one person help me with money.. I call him my guardian angel Phil. I had another friend who I barely even knew Nasar Elarabi help me with motivating words, books and encouragement. My other friend LO Mein also helped me tremendously. I will always love them and appreciate them for that.
I made it though that and came out on the other side much stronger. A rainbow finally started to shine through in my life. I used my biggest setback as a spring board for my greatest comeback! Those who know the story know what I pulled off.
Recently I had another slight setback.. Slight only because at this point in my life I don’t allow emotions to take over me. I think logically and try to figure out how I can fix things. I fixed it quick! And I was right back to where I was in one week’s time.
It made me realize that I was finally the woman I always wanted to be. It made me realize how amazing, powerful and unstoppable I am. My confidence grew – to me for once actually being proud of myself. Proud of all the years of hard work I’d put in, proud of all the hurdles I somehow managed to jump over. Proud of the woman I had become.
I’m the sh*t and it’s not based off my looks or brains.. I’m the sh*t because I’m me. An awesome phenomenal woman. There’s nothing you can tell me about me.
I think before I was waiting until I was wealthy to feel that way about myself… There’s a lot of power in looking in the mirror and saying why wait till then.. Life hasn’t been easy for me, but I made it through. So that day, in that moment, I said NO, I’m awesome right phucking now!
I hope this helps someone.
I wrote the above in May of 2017, as a random Facebook post. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my awakening was starting. I was in the process of feeling worthy of success. I had finally reached the point of feeling like I deserved the great success that I’m experiencing.
Today, somehow happened to comment on that post on Facebook.
Rarely am I ever taken back by my own writing. But as I read this, I realized that somehow (buying into the wrong mentor) I sort of got rocked to sleep again. You really gotta do the work to stay woke.
THAT is why I’m grateful to have met Katrina Ruth and Ingrid Arna. I desperately needed to see women in the world who are a reflection of my soul. Before that, it was only me.. Me whom everyone thought was crazy.
Through these two women I have walked deeper into my light. My first mentor actually told me that I was too much. That I had to calm down, and say less, if I wanted to be rich. And at the time, I figured just maybe I should listen. WHY? Because obviously she was more successful than me and knew more than me. But the truth is she didn’t. I AM SUPREME. People need to get like me.
I even had to awaken some of her clients and pull them out of that dry azz box she had them in. Heck I had to tell her how to not be intimidated around celebrities that she claimed to have been accustomed to working with.
The way my story of life has unfolded, it’s going to be a movie. The world couldn’t hold me. I ain’t a b*tch, but I’m damn sure unstoppable.
But damn, I gotta make a vow to never be rocked to sleep again. Noticing all of these things is emotionally painful at times and tiring just seeing myself…. But it’s all apart of the journey.
This blog I’m writing right now, that same terrible mentor told me to stop blogging. She told me blogs didn’t make any money. Yet I was clocking $300k plus off blogging for years. Not to mention, my soul’s purpose on this earth is to be an author. Phucking with the wrong people will lead you all wrong. It’s all your fault for listening, but some sh*t you just don’t know. And you know what? I feel that’s what God wanted me to experience. Cause he could’ve just put Ingrid or Katrina in front of me first instead of the terrible one.
That’s why I also don’t listen to people when they say you have 100% control over your life. Some of us are just phucking called to go on these crazy azz journeys so that we can awaken and empower millions of souls. See there are many life coaches who touch a couple hundred people. I impacted hundreds of thousands of lives before I even became a life coach. WHY? Cause it’s all written. This sh*t was written before I was born. I’m just thankful now my soul’s mates are showing up to help me on this damn crazy journey.
I know one thing. I’m going on a 3 month damn vacation and I deserve it.
This has been such a huge week of shifts for me. This week I realize that my self-worth right now commands clients who pay me $1 Million a year to work with me. I’m just that good at what I do, and just that powerful.
Now I know in order to command that, that I simply have to be unwilling to be available for anything less than that. Which I’m not ready to do yet, but at least I’m finally on the path.
I woke up the past two days with a great sense of calm. So calm that if you know me you may think I’m acting weird. I looked around and decided that I wanted the life of my dreams already. I don’t feel like playing small anymore. I can’t. I won’t. Even talking to people on social media everyday. It’s just not my thing anymore. I’ve done a great job of using my gifts to inspire thousands of people. I’ve awakened their conscious. My mind is so work, work, work focused. Always work.
WHY? Because it takes work and great thought to do what I do. But in reality, I’ve been vibing too low. I look around at my tribe, the people I help the most, and the people who appreciate me the most, and for the most part they already understand how to have healthy relationships. They know the importance of them. They are willing to do the work. They do what it takes, including investing in themselves. They simply need help past a few blocks, gaining some magnetism and a strategy to call in the amazing mate they want. In their business, they are already abundant at multi 6 figures or multi- 7 figures.
When it comes to men, I either attract the God Kings who already know how to have healthy relationships and are abundant af already making multi 6 figures to 7 figures. They usually need healing and remembrance of who they are, after a woman broke their heart.
Or I attract scarcity minded men who think a woman’s worth is dependent upon how much money she has. These men have absolutely no interest in learning how to have healthy relationships. Although successful in their own right, they are also some of the unhappiest men on the planet. I look at them and shake my head and say to myself “Ya’ll so damn dumb.” Judgement on my behalf. Which I know better than to do.
So I go within and ask “Kissy why?” It’s a reflection of my own frustration. Of me trying to save the world. Somehow I’d slipped into that again.
In a way, I just want to be like Oprah, put content out and let people receive it. Oprah doesn’t feel like she has anything to prove, and neither do I. Except I’m not at Oprah’s level yet, even though I know I belong there.
Yeah I know to simply embody it and claim it. But yeah reality is reality sometimes. I’m bored and need a break. I need a billionaire to hand me $20 Million so that I can build my empire already. I already know what I want to do. (Yes, I know I don’t need anything.)
For life coaches the way they help people is by getting online every day talking to people, posting, going live, blogging and releasing the message. It works. It definitely works. But after doing that I know that route isn’t for me.
Once again, my path is different. So I know that in this moment it’s time for me to opt to be all that I AM, all I can be, and call it in.
There is no more waiting on Dream Life to happen or to manifest. It’s time to Quantum F*cking Leap! It’s a real calm, strong decision. If I want my Dream life to happen now, I have to agree to let love in. I have to stop fighting it and denying it. It’s not very sensible of me.
I mean it’s easy for me to get away with not doing so. I’m easily one of the most loved people on the planet. I allow in lots of love. I give out lots of love. But I’ve never allowed myself to fully be loved. I know this. It’s the first rule. Which is why I got so frustrated watching some of the men who follow me simply ignore all of the rules of love in honor of what society has brainwashed them to believe. But thank you Lord that is no longer my problem or focus. I know that I AM GOD. But I also know I’m God’s special child, cause I am led by him in ways one can’t even imagine.
These shifts used to come through and make me cry. But this time, for the first time, I am calm. I’m very calm and ready. I’ve prepared for this. It’s reaping season. Dejavu
I’ve opted out of answering my inbox, of explaining myself to people, of being extra nice and anything else self-sacrifice. I accept that such behavior leads to things that are not of me.
Today I decided to embody billionaire habits. Whatever those may be.
Yet, I will always write. Writing is who I AM. I’m an author. I wish so badly that my book was just done already. Done, published, on store shelves and selling like crazy. I’m ready. I am no longer getting ready to be ready. I’m not even getting ready to walk into my destiny. It has arrived.
I now allow in everything that God meant for me to have. I agree to get out of my own way.
I surrender.
I now allow billions of dollars to flow into my life. I allow this manifestation in with ease and grace.
