My little brother passed away 2 weeks ago. That was shocking to my soul, and also inspired shift, after, shift after shift.
Rarely these days do I get just one shift. I get body slammed with them back to back to back to back.
They hit me like deep ocean ways, as I stand on the beach shore with my eyes closed. They say WAKE UP MAM.
So now I AM woke, and as of today, I quit doing things a certain way.
I moved on.
What was I doing? I was trying to change the world by waking up deeply sleep women with shocking truths.
I was waking these women up for absolutely free. It wasn’t their favorite celebrity healing these women. It was me.
As I woke these women up out of their slumber, eyes everywhere were watching me.
Watching me and judging my every move. I only have more than 600,000 followers at this point.
Some of those people called me a gold digger.
There is so much oppression in black society if you are a woman who opens your mouth to speak the truth of what you want, if that truth isn’t bottom barrel.
For women like Lori Harvey, they don’t TALK about it. They simply BE about it.
So I see now that this whole life coaching the masses thing isn’t for me.
I could totally keep my information to myself and talk about basic stuff for free. But my heart knew some really good hearted women existed and were sleep in this world.
This world is so accustomed to so called gold diggers that they are unaware of the hard working women who go hard, get it out the mud, run up a bag, and are down for their man.
Then again they are. That tell those women how stupid they are, after the man breaks their heart. Before that they told her that she wasn’t worthy of the greatest men and that she needed to settle for less, because good men are of scarcity they say.
The women in my tribe cook, clean, pay more than half the bills, phuck his brains out, speak life into their man, give him money, motivate him, educate him, wipe his tears, and see the best in him, all while he takes her for granted, cheats on her, and pays other girls bills.
Those are the amazing women I was sent to heal.
No one ever taught them what a real man is.
I can’no longer publicly heal them, cause the world was too busy being in my business, judging me for everything I do.
Not to mention, most of those women don’t value WOMEN.
They’ll run to pay a man, but don’t have enough sense to love themselves enough to pay a divine feminine woman for the healing they need. So they kind of stay stuck. Because there are so many deep layers to this healing, and without truly working with someone 1 on 1, most women will never heal.
The majority of my female clients tend to be married and rich already. What I help them with is CONFIDENCE and treating their man better. Those aren’t the things I tend to talk about in public.
Then there’s my dating life and everyone asking me why I’m not married yet. In the past 3 years I’ve had 3 proposals. The first guy offered me a Bentley to marry him, the 2nd $300,000 within 3 months of marrying him and the 3rd one offered me a Maserati and spent a substantial amount of money on me.
The problem? I really didn’t like any of their characters, and I didn’t feel love emanating from their heart. Nor did I feel they were picky enough. Then I met another guy who I briefly dated and he was like this total Dream Man, doing everything for me, paying bills, buying clothes, helping me with my business, improving my mindset, being a friend, surprising me in the most amazing ways, not trying to use me for sex…we never even had sex, and lo and behold, I had nightmares that he would physically hurt me. Heck, I figured that was God telling me NO.
And at some point you have to listen to God. How was I supposed to know if it was God sending me the signs or the devil? Well ultimately it was God, and when someone is not of God they are pretty easy to send away. I pushed him away, but in all honesty, I didn’t really want to….
Men give me what I ask for, and I seem crazy to them, because it’s not enough. However I don’t think it’s totally my fault. The problem is that I KNOW WHAT REAL LOVE IS.
If a man isn’t truly in love with me, or if I can’t return the love, I simply let him go so that he can find the PURE LOVE that I know exists in the Universe.
I’m a pure hearted soul. People aren’t accustomed to that. Especially not men, and when they do meet one they usually try to take advantage of her, and that’s not happening over here… Thus the reason 3 out of 4 of those men became pissed at me. Then there’s another or 2 who are also pissed at me for rejecting them.
I don’t usually talk about these things, because I like to keep things private and I have nothing but love for those men.
But the world wants me to SHOW them… And most men simply aren’t good enough to be shown off on social media by me. Men want a prize and I do too.
So now, I’ve healed up enough to receive what is for me.
I did my job and now I am moving on. God gave me a promotion.
I receive it this time, and will stop fighting it, resisting it and sabotaging myself.
I pray that you never have to SHIFT in front of 500,000 followers all while having a deep desire to only do what it good….
There is no good and bad in this world…
So I release myself from my desire to totally build this peaceful, only positive platform. To do so takes A LOT of thinking when you’ve already built up an audience.
And truth be told, all of the super popular online personalities are full of DRAMA.
I guess I’m a good way through my spiritual awakening. Memories of my past are starting to come back to me.
Suddenly I remember all of the jobs I had between the ages of 18-24. I recall having a desire to write or be a famous author; maybe even a famous movie star.
All I knew is that I wanted MONEY and honestly I never saw a 9-5 getting me there.
I don’t know if I set out to change the world back then. I only know that I had my eyes on SUCCESS and being the best.
Back then trials and tribulations hit me, but I don’t recall breaking down crying. In fact I only remember being super strong in the face of all odds.
Back then I never felt sorry for myself. I went with the ebbs and flows of life. I got accustomed to life being hard.
That was my belief system.
Now I look at my life today, and see the power of surrendering with ease and grace. I see myself BEING everything I ever wanted to be when I was a little girl.
I feel my sexiness coming back along with way more joy. I see the true power of relaxing and being a divine feminine woman.
God bless you to all of the entrepreneurs. You did that. You believed in yourself. Look how far you’ve came.
Today I heal myself from giving people more credit than they are due.
It’s not that people don’t do kind things. They do.
But I realize I often make people think they are more helpful to me than they actually are. That creates false storylines about me in their mind.
It’s because I live in a state of gratitude, and I dislike that people appreciate others so little.
But you must do everything with balance. Too much of anything is a bad thing in the 3D world.
The only person we could never appreciate enough is GOD.
I found this Psychology today article about over-giving. Everything in the article, may or may not apply to you, but I find that some parts of the article will be most useful to you, in order to help cause a shift.
I also know that when it comes to relationships, female over-givers tend to buy men gifts. Personally I stopped that behavior and got better results from men. Yet, I realize the deeper fix is to follow your heart and give to those you feel LOVE FOR and LOVE COMING from, at a higher level. GIVE to the people and serve those who are actually doing BIG things for you.
That way your time, dedication and commitment to self, family, and your immediate circle will be better invested and spent.
This is just another example of how when you blame others for your problem, you will fail to reach the real solution. The real solution is to always look within.
Check out these two brilliant posts that I came across online:
For most of my life, I’ve been in a rush to get somewhere…. No matter where I was, there always seemed some place else i’d rather be. Except for the moments of bliss when I experienced pure love. Or what I believed to be the start of it. In those moments I felt like it was just me and him in our own little world.
Other than that, wherever I was, was never good enough. Therefore nothing and nobody would be good enough for me.
No one is ever going to be good enough for you, until you love yourself enough to unconditionally love yourself and your FULL desires. ~ Kissy Denise
The illusion is that you’re supposed to wait, or earn before you can feel worthy of….
Today I think about how many people rushed me and told me that I was supposed to be somewhere. They had no sympathy for my soul’s journey. I agreed with each and every one of them, taking note as to why I wasn’t there yet. I had no sympathy for myself. Each revelation of my imperfections served as yet another negative aspect to focus on, on my never-ending self-development journey. 😭
I swear loving yourself is a full-time job. (Baby, you’d better work with me to help you come up with a soul-aligned, automated system, so you can spend more time on your love life.)
Looking back, I loved myself a lot more before I started on this spiritual/self-development journey. I couldn’t tell you how many things I’ve found wrong with myself in the past 3-years. It’s one thing after another. It’s like cleaning a mirror, thinking you have it perfect, and then BAM. There goes another fkn smudge!
But hey, I did it, cause I wanted to get somewhere…. To that place where I’d finally be super happy, super perfect, whole, complete and about $96 million or trillion dollars in the bank… (Lord knows that everytime we accomplish one impossible goal, all we do is turn around and set a new impossible one, cause nothing is impossible to us.)
Anyway, today, for the first time in my life I finally arrived at that place in my heart and in my life. And what it took to become this master manifestor is absolutely remarkable. I want you to understand that this moment in time, is the most valuable moment of my life up until now, and it only took me my ENTIRE LIFE to reach.
I definitely could’ve been here a lot sooner. But now there’s a deeper understanding of “You are always in the perfect place at the perfect time.” Sometimes you’re trying to cross the bridge, and you deeply want to cross the bridge.
But God isn’t going to let you cross until you learn the lesson. You have to see things with clarity, before the next manifestation is given to you. As you must receive it with PURE gratitude. (Not fake gratitude.) God wants you to really understand what you have and what you’re BEING given. Therefore the blessing is always in the lesson.
Now that I’m finally here, I get to finally stop judging myself for not being perfect, for not learning things fast enough, and for not being all of everything others expect of me.
For not being perfect I’m so amazingly awesome. Like I real life am just as amazing as I always believed myself to be, EXACTLY THE WAY I AM. Heck, if I were anymore perfect, people wouldn’t be able to get in my life. People should be happy that I allow them to show up in all of their divine greatness and be faster than me or better at me than me at something. Cause honey I’m good at about 2 Million things. So what if I’m not perfect at soccer. That allows me to fawn all over your soccer skills, and for me to have space to allow you to teach me something. (Don’t feed into the I’m not healing anyone or teaching anyone anything hype. That sh*t is an illusion. Together we are perfectly imperfect because when we can fill in for the weaknesses of our mates and they ours, you’re unstoppable!)
Today, I decide to live my life. Today is in real life, the first day of the rest of my life. I feel gratitude for all of my experiences both dark and light, that brought me to this point. 🙏
I feel open to receiving love at a greater level. I know for a fact that I won’t be accepting crumbs from anyone. I really get to have it all now. I am so excited, and looking forward to the love, abundance, and miracles that are now manifesting into my life every day. I am showered in all of the ways the Universe is gleefully giving to me. And I feel WORTHY of DESERVING of them.
And most importantly, it really does get to be easy from here on out.
I want a new picture painted of me. Just so I can look up and see what REAL LOVE looks like.
Kissy Denise – The Masterpiece | THE Goddess of Love & Motivation. The greatest to ever do it in this world.
Oh forgive me for loving on myself…. I know I was supposed to ask someone for permission to do so,
I realize I was never really broken. The world simply wasn’t good enough for me. Trying to comform and be of this world isn’t me. I can be just as savage as the snakes. But it’s not who God called me to be. My love is pure. No wonder I wasn’t quick just to hand it to anyone. I know the true VALUE of my love now. It’s priceless. But I’ll take a million minimum.
💰The kind of love I give is prosperous AF. 💎
I WAKE PEOPLE UP TO THEIR OWN WEALTH.
I always tell you that true humility is forgoing your ego, and doing what God told you to be and do, despite what other people may think or how others treat you. Even simply being a kind person, can be scary in this world.
What’s weird about this world, is that some of us are deeply loving, and we watch people try to play us for a fool, or think that we are a fool. They don’t realize that we simply CHOOSE to BE LOVE.
I’m curious and excited for this next part of my life. So grateful to finally be fully into my next level of the journey. A lot of people didn’t make it into this realm with me. They doubted me too soon. 👁
The thing about that is that they were only reflecting my own self-doubt back to me. But the thing about me is that I can stop doubting myself at anytime. You phucked up, by not realizing that I’m a high trajectory soul. I figure things out fast or eventually. I am under divine laws of greatness. I’m going where I’m going regardless of how long it takes. It fact I’m Quantum Leaping and performing miracles.
Cause there is no way that a woman with my backstory should’ve made it this far. But I did. I came to this earth for the win. I found my way back to love. God is good!
Written with Love,
Kissy 💋
SIDENOTE: If I didn’t move fast enough for you, that’s YOUR problem. Not mine. You can’t rush a Goddess when she’s at work creating her next masterpiece. These beautiful manifestations of mine take time to sort out properly. I’m like Michaelangelo. Bish this is art!
I like things to be perfect when I arrive. It is what it is. And the Universe agrees, and rolls out the red carpet for me.
If nobody else believes in me, the Universe does. It seems to know that I am God approved. Everything I touch turns to gold, including you.
The whole world should line up to be KISSED BY KISSY. That’s the secret recipe.
READY FOR YOUR DIVINE BREAKTHROUGH IN YOUR LIFE AND BUSINESS?
Please don’t expect me to be the same person I was yesterday. I am a fast trajectory, rapidly growing soul. My ascension and shifts come in rapid leaps. My sense of awareness increases each day. I am constantly being stretched and expanded.
Pardon my dust, as I am being slayed by God.
What’s funny is that I make it look so pretty. But being slayed by God was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. The sheer amount of HUMILITY you have to have on a soul level…..
They say you are the common denominator of the 5 people you spend the most time talking to.
I feel as though I served my time uplifting people from poverty mindsets, healing broken women, being the light for spectacular people whose lights were being dimmed by their own followers, and unlocking the cages that people have found themselves in.
What’s funny about being a light, is that most people have ZERO idea of the VALUE of your mere presence. Finding me on social media is life ALTERING for thousands of people on a weekly basis. Through my expression of self and willingness to be slayed by God and walk in the mission that God has chosen for my life, I allow others to see themselves. These things that I do are all VERY intentional. But I’ve learned that too is often self-sacrifice is you don’t have a system to get paid for it. Cause people will TAKE, TAKE, TAKE from spiritual leaders and not feed into them.
Studying human psychology has taught me so much. It has taught me that empathy is much better than sympathy. It has taught me that everyone values something.
What I value more than anything is beautiful spirits. Therefore I attract highly divine souls. I’m surrounded by earth angels, Gods and Goddesses.
Sometimes if I think too much about it, I see the unrealness of it all. But it’s very real. My world is fascinating. It’s warm and magical.
I see other people and the worlds they CHOOSE to live in, that are void of real love. I don’t want to live in that kind of world. Life isn’t real without real love. Love is powerful and magical. When two hearts are deeply and divinely connected, they shift each other like no other.
But anyway, here are 5 Things I’ve changed just this week. These changes are required if you are to level up as a divine woman.
I’ve eliminated all men who are not financially contributing to my empire. Men are ALWAYS spending money. It was time for me to allow them to deal with the women THEY believe in. I will not accept a man who only has 1 trait that I like. So many people are 1 trick ponies. Meanwhile, I’m out here being magic walking on legs.
I’ve made a decision to eat healthier. This is a new journey for me. But I’m going to get great at it.
I’ve made a decision to say NO, to things that are not to my liking.
I made a decision to say YES, to things that inspire the beauty of my heart.
I am now in a place of KNOWING that God guides me into the necessary sense of humility required to perform my duties.
I never in my life, thought I would have so much fun talking to men who love God.
Talking to men who love God will resuscitate your hormones, your bank account, your femininity, your hope, your joy and even your wet vagina. At least that’s what happens when you talk to the brilliant ones.
Growing up going to church, you meet a lot of church men. They go to church, but they ain’t church when it comes to women. They don’t protect or provide and most aren’t even faithful. Forget about being intelligent enough to keep up with a brilliant woman.
Then one day, I decided to stop dumbing myself down online. Since the inception of the internet, I realized that I was smarter than most people and in order to get along with them and run a highly profitable blog that I had to dumb myself down, because my real authentic opinion would either be ignored by the masses or catch a lot of flack.
In many ways, I still often do that on my Krime with Kissy page. But on my personal page, I ain’t holding back. I let the truth be known. And you know what happened? The truth showed up to talk back to me.
My thing is conscious relationships. Specifically soulmates. I am such a huge vortex of love, that the people who followed my Facebook page still found their soulmates without even paying me. That just goes to show my power, cause they could’ve paid a dating coach $16,000 and still not have attracted a soulmate. The good thing is that people actually thanked me for it, and did not take it for granted.
The notice for coaches is to VALUE what it is you do. If you are on Facebook giving out knowledge for free, you won’t get paid. People aren’t going to walk up to you and say “Here is $10,000. I found my soulmate from following you and tapping into your high vibration frequency and applying your advice.” Instead they get what they need from you and move on.
Anyway, back to these Godly men. I am a sapiosexual. I love intelligence and brilliance in others. It’s such a turn-on to meet smart people.
However I have noticed that men who go to church may not necessarily be the kind of smart that I’m looking for. Even the most conscious can sometimes not recognize the divinity of a Goddess when they see one. I’ve had to learn that a man who can’t see me isn’t smart enough for me. That was very difficult to do. As women we often want men to be smarter than us, but an enlightened spiritual boss woman is often the top of the intelligence food chain.
Anyway, the enlightened or highly conscious men who are also brilliant and highly receptive to ELITE Goddess energy are phenomenal. See some men prefer the basic Goddess who makes money, but she can’t get men to do anything for her. She does everything for herself. Total boss chick and THAT turns him on. The fact that he doesn’t have to do anything for her and that she’s going to pay her own way excites him and makes him want to charm her. If he spends $5 on her, he can feel good about himself. That’s not my type.
I keep meeting enlightened and conscious men who love God and PROVIDE for me. This has helped me to tone down my own masculinity and call forth my femininity. All women have both feminine and masculine. Even the most feminine woman will turn heavily masculine if she hangs around a bunch of 50/50 men. As you can’t trick a man into providing. It has to be in him. It’s not in most men, which is why so many women are walking around in heavy masculine energy in order to protect and provide for themselves.
What I’ve learned about brilliant men who provide for a woman and aren’t out to partake in her body without first feeding into her, is that these men are gods. I mean that in a literal sense. We as women are not told that men are gods. You mostly hear the word KING used in relation to a man, and any woman who calls herself a good woman has attempted to treat a man like a King at least once. Chances are she got screwed over, because she wasn’t married to him and he didn’t provide for her.
One of the first sayings I heard about men was to speak life into a man. It resonated with me, because it’s naturally what I do. (I get paid to do that now.) I can take almost any man and pour love into him that causes more money to start coming his way. Heck, I’ve done this for the women who’ve hired me too. I am a million dollar muse.
Being a muse is my most natural state of goddess energy. It allows me to be who God called me to be. I am called to radiate light and love into the world, in order to motivate people to aim higher.
But it’s been a mountain getting to this place. What got me here safely, where I am never going back the other way is in all honesty, the men I’ve met on Facebook. I stopped actually dating, in order to heal myself, and only allowed these men access to me. When I want to talk about God and get a clearer understanding of a passage in the bible, I literally have 1 or 2 men who I can call and they will enlighten me. They will give me depth and understanding 5 layers deep. Not to mention I do A LOT of reading and research. I understand God is ways most humans never will. But like I said, sometimes I’ve needed some help and those men have provided.
They’ve told me that I’m awesome, that I’m wonderful, that I’m powerful and that I’m doing great things. They do this on top of complimenting my beauty and raw sex appeal. Some of them randomly send me thousands of dollars.
Now I’ll admit that at first I was a bit ditzy, and I thought they all wanted to be my friend. So I was pushing all of the men in the friend zone and not really giving them a chance to date me. Only recently have I became aware of that block and will stop it. However in my defense, I wanted to heal up before I got into a relationship. I needed space. Friendship was the only thing I could offer, until I got clarity on who I AM.
You see in order to truly win in life and Christ, you have to die in Christ. Your old identity literally dies. My old identity was a boss chick. I GET MONEY. I LOVE making money. I still do. But now I love RECEIVING money. Money doesn’t have to come through my business. It can come to me several other ways. THIS is what masculine God Kings have taught me which has brought me closer to God and gave me a better understanding of God.
Through them God shows me that I am always protected and provided for, rather I have a business or not. WHY? Because my business is my Father’s business. I do the work of God.
God Kings recognize stuff like that. They see a woman growing into her divinity and it actually turns them on. They RUN to such a woman. She’s a phenomenon. Especially one who isn’t rigid, stale and walking around sexually repressed. You see when you unleash your divine feminine energy men can smell it on you from miles away. They love it.
When God Kings see you are heading that way, they actually hop in to help you get there. It feels so good to be able to talk to men and just be myself. It feels good to be able to be sweet and charming, without dealing with men who feel like they are going to take advantage of my kindness.
It’s too much work dealing with other men who think I am stupid just because I decide to be sweet, submissive or surrender. I am far from dumb and i will give a n*gga the flux for playing with me. I will hurt his feelings like never before for trying me. So when I tell you it feels good to be around men who simply don’t try me and LOVE me, and WATER me instead, I am telling you the good word.
At times sex can feel like a mundane duty in relationships. Especially when you’re dealing with a 50/50 man. But a man who provides for you allows you to actually enjoy sex. He takes the feeling of guilt away. Most women feel guilty after having sex with a man, because she doesn’t realize society has tricked her into having sex for free. So instead of taking note that she feels grossed out after after letting a man nut in her for $0 bucks, she keeps doing the act over and over again. After all, she WANTS to enjoy sex and she wants a man to feel FREE to access her body, without feeling like SHE is using him. Therefore he steps up to the plate and uses her. She gets what she asked for.
I noticed the gross feeling as a teen and stopped. I took note that LOVE felt better while having sex. Casual sex can feel good, but it’s personally not good for my soul.
When you’re a brilliant enlightened woman, talking to brilliant enlightened men, the thing is when it comes to relationships you pretty much have the same thought process. It’s quite natural. You both understand the core of love and the feminine and masculine positions in relationships. Naturally you each play your part. This gives you a connection that can not be faked or forged. Which is why sex between such individuals is explosive. Sex is spiritual. When you have sex with someone who wants to feed into your soul and experience your soul, sex becomes mystic and healing. It doesn’t just feel good, but it DEEPLY feels good and sets your soul free. You start breathing more and even noticing the air you breathe. You start to value human relationships on a deeper level and feel understood.
That’s all every human being on earth wants; is to be understood and to be valued. Many men will provide for a woman even if she doesn’t love him, as long as she values him and respects him. That’s just how much men want to be understood.
However, men on my high frequency don’t have a lot of women to choose from. Not only that, but they’ve gotten so accustomed to not meeting women on their frequency that their dating habits are the same as boss chicks. Neither ultimately cares about relationships, cause they’ve previously been drained and are tired. They move slow like molasses and by the time they make a move it’s too late. I don’t care what anyone says, soulmates, once they SEE YOU, they know. They make moves.
The ones who will make a move fast, heavily judge women, and if a woman isn’t being vulnerable, he’s uninterested. By the time most women are vulnerable with him, it’s too late. He’s uninterested.
So even though these men are fabulous and such a delight to talk to, my luck is much better with men offline because they see what they want right in front of them and it’s a GO! They are pushing through delivering what a woman needs. Women like me get soooooooooo bored with men who just TALK.
However I talked to men ALOT without engaging in sex. So, I am quite used to conversing with high frequency, high value, authentic, provider men. For most of these men I am the first enlightened woman they’ve met, so it was a relief for them to be able to be their authentic self with a woman, without being judged. So that’s the other trick. When enlightened people meet each other they are so happy that it can turn into a friendship. Which is why I looked at them all as friends. I’ve met too many soulmate connections and I know they move FAST. So being friends with a guy for 2 years, then suddenly he wants to date me, is not appealing to me, BECAUSE I specifically want to marry my soulmate. After 2 years of being friends, that’s just him settling cause he couldn’t find better. If it were a soulmate connection, he wouldn’t went for it after talking to you a few times. IT’s really that simple. But as I said, previous 3D relationships make them move cautiously slow, which is only okay with low value women or women who also just want to date and have a great time.
Which is fine, cause even the the highly conscious, high value, high vibe men, who don’t love the bible, still heal you with their beautiful, warm energy.
It’s 2020. If I were a woman I would cut ties with any man who doesn’t provide. 50/50 men are the old life. Provider men are the new world order. Your life will improve greatly by being around such men. That’s why women who are provided for are sooooo happy. I know you’re tired of walking in the Louis store buying your own bag, while you see a cute woman who has a man in there buying her multiple bags.
Want to know what’s even more fun? God Kings already know these things and DO these things for you.
I never knew that talking to men who loved God could be so exciting and enchanting.
I’m about to tell you a short story, about how I avoided getting played. The names, state and locations have been changed to protect the not so good men.
Men are so awesome and so wonderful. They are the best thing since sliced cornbread, I tell you.
I flew into Miami to meet one of my male friends. This male friend and I travel together quite often. He takes me to the coolest places, no matter what city, state, or country we are in.
He puts me up at the best spots and always shows me a fabulous five star experience.
He even sends Ubers to take me to the airport to meet, so that I don’t have to drive to the airport. He’s quite a gentleman.
We will call this friend Oxford. Oxford is working on being an executive in the music industry. He makes multiple six figures and knows me very well.
The plane lands in MIA, and Oxford picks me up at the airport in a drop top Mercedes. He asks me what am I in the mood to eat. I say “CJ’s on Ocean Drive.” He immediately snubs his nose and says there are better places to get crab legs.
CJ’s was fine to me, as I really just like eating, people watching on Ocean Drive, and looking out at the clear blue ocean. It’s quite therapeutic for me. He takes me to some fancy spot and the King crab legs were indeed delicious and already cut open, which is very convenient for me.
Afterwards he takes me to some really cool hotel.. In the back of the hotel you can walk to the beach. Oddly enough people had walked very far out into the ocean, further than I’ve ever seen people go into the ocean without going under water. It looked like some kind of scene out of a movie.
Oxford suggested we walk out there, but I allowed my fear mind to take over and wouldn’t walk. Don’t know if I trusted that he would keep me safe, if I slipped or something… (I probably need to update my swimming lessons.. Although I can swim, I carry the belief that I don’t swim good enough for the ocean or deep waters.)
Anyway, I regret not wading out there and trying something new. Will go back to that hotel again and do it.
The next day he books us into another hotel. This time it’s the Fontaine Bleau. I love The Fontaine Bleau.. Mostly for the pool. The pool at the Fontaine Bleau is lit. They play hip hop and people really turn up and live their best life. The rooms are like $220 a night and up.
After checking in, we get on the elevator and go up to the top floor. Wooooo. Penthouse suite. Come thru Oxford. The man knows what I like. The view from the balcony is so beautiful, looking out over the Ocean.
Fontaine Bleau has a nightclub downstairs in the lobby called LIV.
LIV is lit like a Las Vegas club. Therefore a lot of high profile celebrities stay there.
As Oxford and I are walking downstairs to go to the valet, to my left I see a group of young black men in designer clothing. I keep walking and stop inside at the door as Oxford goes outside to give the ticket to valet.
As I was waiting, one of the men we’d passed boldly walked up to talk to me, and asked me where I was going. I could tell by the way he talked to me that he was a total boss. I told him that I was going out around the town.
He said “Come hang out with me, we’re going to the club.”
Me: “I already have plans with my friend.”
Now my friend is one of those guys that men always act like he’s not even there. They will stare at me, goo goo ga ga over me, say out loud how beautiful I am, come to flirt with me, even if he’s standing right next to me.
Somehow they just know that Oxford is not my man. Oxford dresses like nerd. He is a nerd.. I am a nerd too. But I don’t dress like one. Oxford believes people should like him for him, and hates materialistic people (yet loves hanging out with me.)
HIM: Leave him, come with me.
ME: Nah, I would never be that rude.
I tell him to follow me on social media. I find out he has 2 Million followers. His name is TROY.
Troy hits me up on social media a few hours later and asks me again to come go out with him. It sounded like a really good time, but I declined… So he shot me his number and told me to call whenever I got free.
I had a business meeting the next day, and Oxford had a business call he had to take, so we separated. I went down into the hotel lobby to chill.
Troy hits me up on social media and tells me to call him. I shoot him a text and he calls and asks where I am at. I told him that I was downstairs in the hotel lobby. He says he’s coming down.
He comes downstairs with a very famous entourage. He approaches me and sees my book on the table and asks me about it.
I lightly tell him how ‘YOU CAN’T FORCE A MAN TO VALUE YOU‘, is a book that heals women. This was kind of confusing to him, because he’s not spiritual so he’s not aware of Goddesses and healing powers.
Anyway, he asks me if he can buy the book from me. I tell him sure. He asks how much. I tell him $50, and he gives me $100.
I thought it to be pretty cool how he just offered to buy my book, gave me double, and immediately took interest in my writing.
His energy was also a bit different from the previous day. As I am sure after running through my social media he realized I wasn’t about to be the typical groupie he’s accustomed to. Men with popularity and money don’t impress me.
Troy is a very smart business man. He and his crew were on the way to a large event, expecting an audience of thousands.
He says he has to run, and that he and his crew were boarding a private jet to L.A.
Troy states how he would love to take me out some time to Maestro’s in L.A. I told him that would be nice, as I love the one in Malibu. I went for brunch once and they served fresh bread rolls that made me feel like I was living the life of my dreams. Some places really tap you into notification of higher self arrival.
The rolls were baked at a local farm, and flown in my helicopter daily. They were so delicious, as I sat overlooking the sandy beach and watched as the ocean waves flung themselves against the huge boulder rocks neatly stacked outside the glass window of the restaurant. Oxford has also taken me to the Mastro’s in L.A. a few times.
Anyway, the conversation ends, as my order came up, and Oxford was waiting on me. Later Troy texts me and once again asks to hang out. It’s about 1 a.m. He tells me his room number, but I am not going.
Most women when they meet a celebrity or a baller they would quickly diss their “friend” for the rich man.
You know like Chris Brown said, “When a rich n*gga wants you.”
A lot of chicks get invited to celebrity rooms, sex occurs, then the men send them on their way, never to be seen again. And the whole time, these men are VERY polite. Will have a woman thinking she just hit the jackpot.
When Oxford flys me in somewhere there is usually a celebrity male in town who asks why I didn’t call him and let him know that I was in town.
Oxford is often way more generous than the celebrity men, so there is no point of me dissing him for them. If I need something Oxford usually has my back.
I also don’t get much joy out of dealing with men who aren’t crazy about me. Even when I tried, I would get bored after a while.
Later Oxford and I are at a late night wing spot, and as we sit at a table waiting for our order to be prepared, I am texting Troy and he tells me he just walked into this wing spot. I look up and there he is in line ordering. What a coincidence. I was wondering what the Universe was telling me. There seems to be some synchronicities going on here.
Troy greets me, and we chop it up for a few minutes. Again he tells me to diss my friend and come out VIP with him and his crew. I politely turn him down and then head back to the table.
Most other women would’ve went for it.
When I got back to Vegas, Troy and I talked. He said that he wanted to work together. I followed up, with no response.
A week later I texted Troy and he said “Who is This?” He then calls and we have a great conversation.
He facetimed me once after that, but I was busy.
I texted him after that and we had a little light banter. My common senses told me that he was one of those guys who traveled heavy, didn’t take most women serious, and girls flocked to him and his crew. His crew is so hot that they attract massive groupies. That’s not how I roll, so I didn’t even bother trying to keep his attention. Especially if he wasn’t still talking about business.
I am sure many girls get ran through by him.
Anyway, a few days ago, he posted out of the blue, his wedding photos. He got married a month before I met him. Troy has an entire FAMILY.
Imagine the look of WOW on my face. Now I was so thankful that I didn’t hang out with him, get to liking him, and dissing my friend to hang with him. I am glad that I am a loyal person.
If not, I probably would’ve had my time wasted.
Anyway, for a man of his magnitude who moves the way he does, to suddenly post a photo of his wedding, made me wonder if he read “You Can’t Force A Man To Value You,” and decided to become a better man.
I won’t call or text him, but someday I’ll run into him and I’ll ask.
This experience reminded me to be on my paper when men approach me and talk business RIGHT AWAY. Always be closing on these men cause they are definitely trying to close on you, and not in a way that’s beneficial to you, if you don’t direct traffic.
I am unable to look at any man as a date. Men play a lot of games. He has to go through my client zone first, before I even play the game with him. Simple as that. Cause no man is about to waste my time. The average man isn’t in it to win. He’s in it for FUN. Sex with random women is fun to them. After all, why wouldn’t it be when they have an emotional connection at home already.
Character and loyalty can save you from getting your feelings hurt. But I would hate to be his wife. I am sure she knows and accepts it. Even with filtered photos, she’s a very plain looking woman. A lot of men marry the EMOTIONAL connection, but still chase baddies.
Oh you may be wondering about “my friend.” Here is what a great deal of men with money do. They chase an ABUNDANCE of beautiful women. They are “friends” with them all, and honestly don’t know one between another. They are all the same to these men.
Meanwhile the chicks gets badder and badder and meets better men…. That’s why a lot of affluent men are single. They get caught up in the lifestyle of chasing beautiful women. And often times the nerds who now have money, don’t even understand the beautiful women that they chase. They would want nothing more than for the beautiful women to be “normal.”
They also believe that the women are waiting to be chosen by them. They really don’t understand that a badd chick has a LINE of men coming at her. They usually ask to marry her when the glow up comes full circle.. I said NO. I would never marry a man who didn’t take me serious from day one.
No amount of money can make up for a man who can’t spot a diamond when he sees one. A relationship where the man doesn’t understand the woman’s innate value, won’t last.
I heard an affirmation today that said “I will not judge myself, I am doing my best.”
I immediately rejected it. Lately I have not been doing MY best. I can definitely do better.
I’m at a point where I feel like it’s time to take a break from blogging, and focus on writing books. Although writing is my gifting, I feel like I should write less online.
In a way I’ve tired of social media, and women finding me, the most boldest, most phenomenal, most powerful, most cutest, most brilliant, most magical, anointed woman they’ve ever met and them kind of centering in on me, judging me, watching everything I do, copying everything I do, while being triggered by me and my authority and popularity. Jealousy strikes. I’m so used to such behavior that I literally am thankful for the women who lately show me so much love and gratitude for all that I do. I sense it may be time for me to limit my interactions on my personal page. One thing I know is that familiarity breeds contempt. It makes me feel like a whale in a pond. Except in my pond, others want to BE the whale, without doing the same work, and sacrificing like the whale. To keep going the way I have would be insane. I’ve been doing it basically the same way for 6 years. It’s time to stop.
I’m also growing weary of sharing myself and my life with everyone in order to motivate them. People have said it before, but I’m starting to feel like I give too much of myself. I prefer the Tony Robbins space where you’re everywhere, but people only have access to you when you want them to.
The answer to this is simply climbing higher. It’s a message that it’s time to grow some more. It’s time to step into my power some more. It wasn’t smart of me to keep fighting it. I didn’t even realize my own lack of surrender.
This is one of those blogs, where it feels more like me sorting through my thoughts so that I may see clearly. This is more for myself than it is for anyone else. Yet, my teaching method has always been based upon my own life experiences. Yet, I feel like it’s time to take the “I” out of it.
I actually talked to two new men today. Those interactions gave me ZERO excitement. In the past year I simply haven’t dated. I had no interest in it. WHY? Because it’s rare that I meet anyone who excites me. Yet, I’ll try to fix it by saying affirmations that I meet lots of exciting men. Try, cause I know it works, but maybe I’m not ready to give up the belief. Yet I must let go of it.
To let go of it, I also have to let go of any men in my life who don’t excite me. People told me to date men, be in men’s presence and enjoy their company; when I just wanted to be in my lil corner and heal. But the only kind of man who excites me is one who is heart-centered and came to fully love me.
In the past I found that most men who pursued me simply weren’t equipped to love me at my level. It’s intense. It’s not half assed. It’s all in or nothing. Therefore even though I want to be in love and excited by a man, that didn’t happen with the few men who slid through the cracks. They were the types who I believed that if I were to enter a relationship with them, that they really wouldn’t give a phuck about me. I see this happen to too many women, and I ain’t going. A lot of people in this world, don’t truly know what LOVE and CARE is. To their credit, they definitely TRY to. But their try usually ends in mediocre sorts of love. When you meet men whom their ex’s really didn’t give AF about them, we often place the blame on the woman. But oftentimes a man who ends up with a woman who he is providing for and she’s still not fully in love with him, it’s due to him being kind of cold in the heart and not nurturing her.
I know this because my ex-boyfriends never have female problems. All of their exes are crazy about them. Women absolutely love them, because they emotionally connect with a woman on a deep level. Even me, I am not quick to date after breaking up with them, because I know that regardless, the truth is most men don’t compare to them. The cold men don’t even have enough sense to find a woman with whom he will say to “You are so beautiful. You make me happy. I love spending time with you and want to marry you.” Nope, instead they will say something like “Beauty isn’t everything.” He instead will tell a woman she’s not all of that, or try to make her feel like she’s inadequate. He’ll diminish who she is, her beauty, her accomplishments and everything else. He’ll be dry on her, and won’t speak life into her, then wonder why she has no interest in sexually being excited by him.
Such men rarely ever get relationship coaching from anyone who can actually help him. He always thinks he’s perfectly fine and the best man in the whole world. He would be quick to tell a woman that she’s not perfect so how dare she judge him or notify him of his bad traits, that he could potentially fix, so he could be a better mate. Even more their appearance actually isn’t all that, but you can’t tell them that they themselves are not fine as hell… Such men are so draining and boring AF. They will make you never want to date again and swear that the woman is the problem. These men have money, but not much else. Their self-development isn’t in the LOVE department. They are so bad that if a woman tells them she’s hurt by him, he’ll say it’s a personal problem. They make me grateful for the love I have experienced. They make me speak even louder commanding women to go after the men they REALLY want.
Anxiety – The past week my anxiety went to an all time high. It was a battle like non other. Fortunately someone smart told me how to balance it and I’ve done more research on it. Yesterday I sat with my anxiety and felt the pain flow through my arms. I watched it, without emotionally responding to it. I watched myself. I watched myself and asked myself what was the real reason that I’d been feeling that pain in my arms for so many years. Pain that became familiar to me after a decade of experiencing it. I noted it was mostly trauma from dealing with the wrong men or allowing the wrong men to have access to me period. I gave myself a pat on the back for still reaching great success, despite it. I gave myself empathy for walking through it, and opening myself up to love again. I realized that another part of the reason I wasn’t dating, was that I simply don’t want to be hurt anymore. I’m tired of being hurt. Being single felt better than being hurt. I also wouldn’t hurt a man by getting into a relationship with him if I don’t feel I can fully love him. But some men think I’m mean for that, and would still prefer that I be in a relationship with them, because even 1/4 of my love is greater that the average woman’s so called FULL love.
I noted all of my emotions last night and decided I simply couldn’t be that woman anymore who allowed such things to happen to her. The woman with so much empathy, that I immediately think that people mean me well and that they want to do right by me. The person who sees the beauty in people and sees them as their highest self. I realize maybe I’d extended the grace of my gifting to too many people. Too many people who didn’t even realize that me aligning with their vision and seeing them as their highest self, actually does propel them. I was healing so many people at the cost of draining myself, feeling uncared for, and feeling unappreciated.
I was told to write a book on Love, so in a way YES, I felt like OMG. Maybe I should find love myself if I am to write such a book. But the truth is I’ve already experienced love that others will never feel. If they get to experience just one of the loves I had, and also read my book to learn how to maintain it, their life will be blessed.
I gave up on the me who has been humble for the past year. I don’t believe that people really appreciate humble people. In my healing from heartbreak and everything else that was going on in my life, I believe that some men tried to take advantage of me and thought they would easily be able to woo me, without actually bringing their heart.
I looked at the pressure that always seems to be on me to perform, to reach great heights, to do this, to do that. I see now that LOVE has always been my way of balancing my life and feeling some sense of normalcy as a human. It keeps me connected and grounded. Because my career/purpose aspirations are definitely out of this world. Being soul led and having a huge calling on your life, after making so many mistakes…. I can’t even begin to explain to someone the pressures I often feel while KNOWING I must keep going cause it has to be manifested through me. To not do what God called me to do would actually be the greatest failure.
Writing has always been the way I simply release it all. It’s a place where I’ve always felt free to express myself. But talking myself through my own thoughts, that I allow others to read on a daily basis, and judge me for it, and see how they can try to analyze me, or move in on me, has become a drain. I have to stop pretending that I’m not super popular. If Beyonce were to freely express herself the way I do, it would be a darn disaster to her brand.
I’m experiencing real releasing of the ego. I will now only care about what I want, and embody the highest version of myself. I will go back to focusing on attracting the love that I desire. I will only allow people who are excited about me into my vortex. Me trying to be humble and thinking it’s okay for anyone to perceive me as just a normal human, definitely didn’t do me any good. I am a Goddess by birth. I am to be honored, worshipped, loved, admired and everything else. But why was it so hard for me to reach this point? More trying to fit in with society and wanting people to be comfortable with me. I mean who is comfortable standing next to a Goddess? Who is comfortable around a super confident woman who thinks God wants the best for her and that she is the best? People are much more comfortable around “Humble” people who believe that their 9-5 is a lifetime plan. That’s “normal.”
I now quit the normal, perceivably safe world. I’m going back to my celebrity world where I belong. We get so far off track and out of alignment when we refuse to accept our power, magic and mission. I shall also admit it kind of already disgusts me how now when I go back to being a super popular celebrity, that so many people pop back up to kiss your azz, pretend they love you and pretend to support you. But those same people didn’t love you when you showed up as the humble, small fry version of you. People are obsessed with popularity, numbers and people who are winning. Meanwhile I’m obsessed with love, purpose, prosperity, and God.
Now that I made this decision to BE me, I now have space for my soulmate King to access me. Obviously he couldn’t access me while I was pretending to be someone else, by pretending to be less of myself. My soulmate King wants the full me. He wants all of me and everything that comes with it. He gets it and can handle me. He has no interest in dimming my light.
Back to real love I go. It has taken me 16 months of healing from heartbreak to reach this point. Now it’s time to #SayLess and #DoMore.
My advice to you is to stop giving a phuck, DO YOU, and live your best life. It’s really the only thing that makes sense.
