I don’t actually call anyone TOXIC in my life. I have a deep understanding that what you see in others tends to be a reflection of something you see in yourself.
So, here is THE TRUTH:
You’re not disappointed in him. You’re disappointed in yourself, because you keep believing in him, while he disappoints you time and time again.
That man has never showed up for you Sis. All he ever did was do 1 THING that got you to like him. He never went past that mark. He’s been dangling a carrot in your face, leading you on and you’ve been accepting it.
Then each time you know you need to cut him off, you complain, and he tells you not to complain about him. You can’t get through to him, but he says it’s all you, and IT IS.
So you breathe, reset, and put on your positive mindset again…. and once again, focus on the good in him, just to be disappointed again; while he tells you how you’re not good enough, and that YOU need to be a better woman.
He tells you that you need to work harder. He pushes the slave ship…. Not to mention there is WAY more of you, standing in line, waiting to be his peace; telling him how good of a man he is, although he’s actually not being a good MAN to anyone.
There’s lots of PICK ME and EFFORT girls like you in the world, who keep 50/50 men sitting on a pedestal, using up women, until his dream woman finally shows up.
The insanity of it all, of how YOU unconsciously have tried to get this man to value you.
You Can’t Force A Man To Value You is deeper than just a book title. Which is why you have to read the book.
So many women think that by being patient, being a good woman, being kind, saying kind words, buying gifts, cooking, doing laundry, keeping the house clean, encouraging a man, and speaking life into him, will someday magically cause a man to wake up and value her.
It truly doesn’t go like that. A man simply values what he values. He values what he loves.
When a man first approaches you, he values you. That value is going to increase or decrease, depending on how you ALLOW him to treat you and how much YOU VALUE YOURSELF.
Have sex with a man who is not paying your bills, and Sis you are dooming yourself, 97% of the time. You have just set up the framework for the relationship to be a waste of BOTH of your time. Yes, he is going to pressure you into sex. That doesn’t mean you should give it to him.
Now he’s like “What else do you have to offer? You don’t do anything for me. Other women love having sex with me too.”
He now takes a lot of pride in draining ALL OF YOU, for your energy, and telling his friends how ALL OF YOU suck, and how NONE OF YOU are good enough. NONE of his friends are going to direct traffic back to him, to help him see his part in the equation.
And at the end of it all, you know what he’s going to tell you.
The infamous words of the traumatized, wounded, immature man: “You don’t even know me. I don’t owe you anything.”
And we can blame men all day for this. But Sis, YOU are the one to blame.
LISTEN BELOW TO THIS PODCAST that real estate and investment mogul, Robert Duvale Yancy & I did, for some reality shattering truths about relationships.
This is Part 1 of a 5 part Series called “You Can’t Force A Man To Value You.“
Here is part 1 : 50/50 Men Are Toxic
I am so excited about this series that breaks down your belief system. If you’re on your laptop, please leave some comments on Youtube. We need positive energy to keep this going. This is going to get better and better.
Nobody understands a black man’s plight more than a black woman. But black men often abuse black women, and no one wants to admit to that.
It’s not that most intend to. But most simply weren’t taught how to be a gentleman, how to provide, or the value of a woman.
Black men grow up watching videos that depict black women as sexual objects to be collected by the multitude.
They are not shown love and marriage. And the ones who do grow up to be amazing gentleman, often believe that other men are just like them.
When a black woman goes to college and makes money, she believes that she will now finally be able to get a good man who loves her and respects her. She often doesn’t care if a man pays bills or anything. She doesn’t care if he has a degree. She doesn’t expect him to be anywhere perfect. She doesn’t mind helping him prosper and get to the next level. Most times she only expects love and loyalty from him. And oftentimes she doesn’t even expect love, because she has grown to notice that all of the men she’s dated, cheat… And they cheat with the most basic chicks.
Meanwhile when the black man gets a degree and some money, he starts thinking he’s a good man. He now wants women to cater to him, and buy him gifts. he now wants a woman who slaves in the kitchen, washes dishes, births kids, makes good money, and sexes him properly. He wants her to pay half of the bills and submit to him. Most times she agrees and she’s with it.
Then he goes off and cheats. Cause his friends told him that women are out here in abundance. He doesn’t even open car doors. He will questions why he should open the door for a woman. He’s like “B*tch, why can’t you get it yourself.” he thinks he’s a hot commodity.
He’ll tell you that married people are unhappy, or it’s just a piece of paper.
And that black woman accepts all of it, because she loves the black man.
Let’s not forget then they are each calling each other toxic. When the truth is, all are broken.
The only way to return to wholeness, is through God. And God is LOVE. Yet people think love is such a bad thing.
Why do people get in relationships, and forget that it’s really about LOVE?
People have made relationships about everything other than love. And the ones who know in your heart that real love is true. They call you crazy.
It’s a fascinating thing to know God. People would call that religious, but God isn’t a religion after all.
My suggestion is for everyone to get my new book on Amazon. It’s a book about conscious love and healthy relationships.
Once you start working on yourself. You work on yourself even when you’re unaware that you’re working yourself. Your soul is working on you, even in your sleep. You’ll wake up with huge shifts, unexpectedly.
Some days I wake up and I can clearly see a shift occurring. One day I woke up and noticed that suddenly I was letting go of something. I was really calm about it, and accepted it.
The next day, I woke up feeling a little triggered over it. After sitting with the feeling for an hour and allowing myself to explore it, accept it, and feel it out, I realized that I had just discovered a pattern.
The pattern of getting upset with people when I decided to no longer love them.
Why would I get upset with such freedom and relief from pain?
Because I had self-sacrificed myself and continued in a relationship that I knew was doomed, in the name of hope and working it out. I continued on in the pain of not getting what I wanted out of a relationships. Positive thinking gone wrong. Spiritually seeing people as their highself self doesn’t always change things.
Then when I finally got tired of not getting what I wanted, I had the audacity to be upset with them for MAKING me fall out of love with them. Cray! Like I was real life pissed off at my ex boyfriends for MAKING me fall out of love with them.
I placed all of the blame on THEM, instead of myself. How despicable. Going into your patterns and darkness can be so UGH. But without doing the work, who knows if the pattern would’ve ever stopped. Probably not.
It’s really important that you face yourself and start dealing with your feelings. I used to have a habit of not dealing with my feelings, because my feelings never mattered to the people that I was in relationships with. Men didn’t care if I cried. They didn’t care how much they hurt me. They didn’t even care if they broke my heart. I truly got used to kicking my emotions to the side and believing that they did not serve me.
However love serves me, so I would always return to it, like a pet owner who nurses a sick snake back to health, and then gets surprised that the healed snake now struck out at him and bit him.
I actually allowed people to tell me that their mediocre love should be accepted by me. I self-sacrificed my own happiness in order to make them happy. I put on rosey colored glasses and telling myself that they weren’t so bad, and that maybe I needed to be a better person. I kept looking for what was wrong with me, instead of accepting that NO, they were not good enough for me and would probably never be. They’d definitely never be if I accepted them the way they were. Which I partially did, or screamed about it. Which people also don’t like when you scream at them. But I screamed instead of immediately dumping them, because I cared about them.
But what about me? More self-sacrifice. A man not completely showing up for me would even say it was self-sabotage because I was pushing him away. Of course he thinks his not showing all the way up should be okay with me, because HE had better things to do.
I learned so much by actually not attempting to date, and to literally just allow people to BE around me, and see how that played out.
During that time, the pain kept coming. The pain will keep going and going, until you stop, the pattern.
In response to the pain, we often change ourselves into new people. We stop doing the nice things we once did. We try to conform to a better strategy that is said to work. We forget to make the world conform to us.
One thing that’s important for Unicorns to know is that you will always attract love. You are magical. You truly love other humans. But the humans are playing a completely different game from you. You’re not even in the game. You’re just there being love. But when they see you, they can’t SEE you, so they start up with their same strategy they’ve been using, or the new one they want to use. Either way it doesn’t work for you. Nothing works for you accept divine love.
What is happening here is that although you can have a great amount of love for yourself, and that would be quite enough for most humans, but you have to love yourself even more.
You have to stop caring about others more than you care about yourself. You have to stop putting others first. In your mind you are putting love first, which is good. But your definition of love is different from others. When the match is correct you share the same concept of love.
Getting with someone who doesn’t share that same concept is self-sabotage. Your empathic traits keeps you always focused on the other person understanding where they are coming from. That empathy and understanding makes you forget about yourself. You start trying to accept them, but they never accept you for you, because you are not being you.
Therefore the way they treat you is a reflection of you. THAT is why you are always the common denominator.
You’ll always attract love, but you are judged based upon the character of people you allow into YOUR life and HOW they treat you.
Meghan Markle is admired because she married a Prince who treats her like a Queen and puts her first.
Ciara is admired because she has a man who treats her like a Queen. She wasn’t admired when she was with Future who dogged her out. 50 Cent dogged her out too. So did Bow Wow. Each wanted multiple women. Russel wanted a Queen to honor. Ciara is still the same woman, but her reputation changed based upon the men she dated.
People have to come to you with a desire to be one with you, a desire to pour love into you, and a desire to do right by you.
Most of society offers mediocre, basic and scrappy love. You must get comfortable with the fact that those kinds are not your true. Everything is in abundance in life, but some things are so good, that they are 1 in a million. Have you even met a million people? Did you give yourself time to find the one? Or did you rush and take whatever, thinking you could fix them and get them to see things your way?
The things we do to ourselves…. Now you can take self-accountability for other areas in your life, where you are placing the blame outside of yourself. But don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes God is in control and sh*t happens, because that’s the way this goes. You only have so much control over your life. Control is an illusion. Surrender is nothing more than understanding that this all goes God’s way, not your way, and accepting that.
A woman recently said that being a single mother is the hardest thing she’s ever done. She went on to say how she managed it, but now has a boyfriend who wants to have a child with her, but she’s too afraid that he won’t be around.
In today’s society, the population wants to shut up any woman who tells women to have a standard. So instead of facing reality and the fact that even a nice dog is still a dog that is trained to be nice, women go around only seeking love and attempting to build families with men who have no desire to commit to them.
If you are aware you will notice how some families stay together for the sake of the kids, while other families refuse to stay together, even if kids are involved.
When a woman is okay with having a baby with a man of whom she is not married to, she has failed to set an intention. Failing to set an intention is failing to plan.
When a woman gets pregnant by a man she is not married to, she is telling him it’s okay to not commit to her or the child. If a man has to commit first he will really do some thinking and often times decide to opt out. So why not choose to have a baby with the one who choose to go all in?
Not going all in, is being friends with benefits, and everything else is a plus.
A woman who is married to a man who doesn’t spoil her, isn’t really happy. She’s just pretending. She gets a little sad when she logs online and sees some woman being serenaded with roses and candles leading to new Louis bags, Lou shoes, new luxury cars with bows, surprise vacations, helicopter proposals, and new houses with double doors.
But she doesn’t say anything, cause you convinced her that a woman being treated like a Queen isn’t real, and that the woman being treated like a Queen isn’t truly loved, and that her man cheats on her.
You sold her your dream, and now she’s living it. But no, she’s not happy, that you told her she’s not good enough to be worthy of being served divine masculine energy.
Your wife may take care of you and all 4 of your kids. But the truth is she wants to be a Princess like Meghan Markle. But you decided not to be a Prince, and she’s trying to be okay with that, because she knows how important love is. You don’t make the money, but she’s smart enough to bring in millions. You’re sitting at home playing Daddy, and cooking, because that’s the only position she could see you in. That’s the only potential you showed her. So she retired you. But Sis is truly tired of doing it on her own. You are also tired of feeling like less, cause you took a temporary situation and made it permanently less than the life of your dreams. Put your big man boots back on. Redirect your family.
A wise man would do more with a woman who has both his back, front and even the sides of him. A Goddess would’ve inspired you to start a business that runs without you, so that you can still cover everything, feel like a King; and have plenty of time to spend with her.
Every Queen knows that she can’t live off love alone.
Many a great man’s biggest mistake is the woman he chooses to date. Instead of being his sacred place of peace. She intentionally set out to treat you less than King. Because she wasn’t a Queen. A queen isn’t a queen just because you or she says she is. A Queen is a queen because she has standards. She values a man who also has high standards. She values a King with an empire.
While we often complain about women meeting bad men, many a brilliant man has found himself in a relationship with a woman who failed him in every way. He picked from his heart, and gave her everything, hoping to save a woman.
It is said that the best place for a man to find a woman is on the ground in front of him. It’s in his nature to pick a woman up and save her. In return she blooms. But if you plan on wifing her, you may want to ask her about her dreams and goals and see how much work she’s put into that, thus far. A woman with winning in spirit will always display great signs of that. It’s mostly about her inner.
I’ve seen great men cook, clean, help a woman start her business, open car doors, take her on exotic trips, give her money, surprise her and do everything a woman could want, to no avail. The woman wasn’t feeling him. She wanted the man who treated her like less.
If a man really wants to see how a woman feels about you, after she gets to know you, ask her where she sees you at in 5-years. This is assuming you actually allow her to get to know you, and not do the whole “You don’t even know me wounded trauma escapade,” because you’ve been hiding parts of yourself from her. No one can accept you, if you don’t accept yourself, or if you feel the need to hide the real you. So many traumatized men cut off their own love supply by doing that. Keep healing.
Society has programmed good men to believe that he can’t have it all. At other times he’s programmed on track to believe that have multiple women is the way to go and he stays unfocused. In this blog, I’m only speaking on the one woman men who don’t cheat and pour their hearts into the wrong woman.
The right woman for you wants her man to have it all. The right woman for you will see a man pull up with a Bentley, and instead of wanting that man, she will instead want you to have that Bentley, because you are her man. If her soul is luxury, that is what she requires. If that’s what you want, you must get in alignment with your soul. But a woman with a good heart absolutely will not choose a man simply based upon material objects alone. She wants that PLUS more. Yet so many men think every woman who likes nice things is a gold digger. So off he goes to the woman who wants less, wondering why it doesn’t work out.
Some women are okay with a man sagging, dating multiple women, and being unfocused. A Queen would not be okay with such behavior. It’s one thing to be a billionaire and you can afford 19 women. It’s another to still be in the process of building your empire. Plus a man with 19 women doesn’t care about anyone but himself.
Men who grow up in impoverished environments often carry with them traits and habits from that environment. He continues to grow in that box. Where do you plan on going with a woman who is okay with you walking around with your underwear showing? Do you realize THAT is HER vision of a King? You plan on being a rapper?
You want a woman who loves you for you. However, a woman who does not love money and living a life of luxury CAN NOT and WILL NOT grow and prosper a King the way God meant a woman to. Her vision is too limited. Money likes people who love it and enjoy it. Of course a woman worth her weight in gold wants to be rich and is actively in pursuit of, or already has the bag. She’s building her empire, or has a man who provides a great lifestyle. She has a Queen mindset.
Many men fear such a woman, and pick the basic woman instead, because he believes she is the ‘SAFE’ bet. That goes again your soul. That’s why it didn’t work. Life is going to keep pushing you until you get up and go get what you deserve. Everything is about what’s in the heart.
A true Queen has knowledge and game on how to move and shake in this world when it comes to business and personal branding. She also looks her best. She understands she is a reflection of her man.
A powerful man prospers when he has a woman he can play chess with. It’s not wise to get stuck playing checkers. A brilliant man requires a woman who envelops her feminine, yet challenges his mind.
When you’re working hard, you’re a gentleman, love to keep your woman happy, you’re brilliant, you’ve worked on yourself, you’re providing, and you’re closing in on 7-8 Figures, of course YOU DESERVE THE BEST.
As many men ascend on the journey of success, you often forget to look in the mirror, see your new self and see how far you’ve come. You outgrew basic a long time ago. You’re not a prince anymore. She however is who she is. That’s why she was unwilling to grow with you on the journey.
It’s nice to just go for love. We all want love. However, every woman isn’t equipped to give you the best. It has to be both in her and on her. She has to be coded to suit you. It has to be in her spirit to nurture you and water you the same way you do for her. A lot of good men, do, do, do, do, do, without even getting the words back that he needs to hear in return. Therefore you don’t have balance, joy, nor peace, to grow your empire faster.
This is why a man must be honest with himself and go after the woman he wants. If you follow me, you want a beautiful, brilliant, boss chick with a beautiful spirit to match. You want a woman who has a heart in love that also spills over into business. You want a woman you can trust with your emotions. You want a lot in a woman, and sometimes it gets frustrating. You feel she’s never going to show up. (Are you fully showing up as a true King?)
If you plan to win big you gotta go for the gusto and get a high value woman. Whatever man is with the gorgeous, badd azz woman with the business brain is always going to win. And the woman who has God plus all of those other qualities is going to run circles around 97% of other women. A spiritual woman with all of the above, is a royal phonoemen. But what kind of offer did you present to her? She wants a Kingdom with a Kingdom man. However many men come with the same offer they presented to the basic chick. It’s time to step your game up.
Here is the truth:
If you’re a lion, you need a lioness.
If you’re a God, you need a Goddess.
If you’re a King, you need a Queen.
If you’re a dog, you need a hood chick, or a trailer park chick who doesn’t mind you not growing, and will still tell you that you’re the greatest. Every bad man wants a woman who accepts him for him, just like good men do. A basic chick is only a step up from the bottom. She’s soaked in mediocrity. She’s not cut out for a divine alpha male. It’s not in her heart. A woman has to be deeply tapped into her feminine and live from the heart. Such a woman wouldn’t have even wasted her time with you, if she didn’t fully plan to invest in you. But see a basic chick doesn’t mind wasting her time or your time. She’s not focused on the future, cause there is no grand future vision. For her it’s simply about partying and living in the moment. For you every moment counts towards something, but you enjoy it.
A man who came to win thrives with a woman with vision, who will speak life into you and inspire you through her presence. She’s going to be that woman, not matter what man she’s with. It’s just all about which man has enough sense to appreciate her. Often times the woman a man is looking for, is stuck vibing low with a man she is trying to turn into a King. She’s pouring love into a man who doesn’t even take her serious. When she gets with you, the King, she feels safe, her heart opens. She glows. You deserve a woman that glows.
Maybe it’s time to come up out of repressed society and go after the woman you truly want. Maybe it’s time ago admit, you actually DO want a soulmate and a beautiful woman who laughs with you, nurtures you, inspires you, and helps you see it through.
All a basic chick is going to get you, is a basic life. It’s not about judging people. It’s about accepting you are who you are, and you want what you want. A basic chick isn’t going to keep your d*ck happy. There is no sense of pretending she will. Half the time a basic chick loses interest in having sex with the man she picked and hops in the next man’s bed. Because she never picked you. You picked her. A true Queen actually picks a man, and allows him to prove himself. If you don’t prove yourself, you won’t be granted a relationship with her. Instead she will push you away, because you’re coming up short. She doesn’t want to play or waste time. She wants a man who can handle her. She wants a man she feels most safe with.
Anything less, is less than God called you both to have. Love and Immense success together, is obviously a team effort. Two people must both decide to put their all into each other. Yet so many people reserve 50% of themselves for the next person, or the next thing that shows up. They never go all in. Your woman should think that you are the best of the best. If she doesn’t want to see you at the very top, she’s not all in. Simple as that.
You don’t have to settle for less, or waste anymore time lying to yourself. Listening to societies basic desires will mislead you. It will have you living in a big house with everything you ever wanted, except for love. A King isn’t called to settle for less. There is no need for you to feel bad about the desires of your heart. Don’t you see all of these other men HAPPY and prospering on top? Or do you only see within your square box?
You need a woman who is constantly evaluating herself for improvement and wants to be the best. She will be able to keep up with you. A basic chick doesn’t have the capacity to appreciate you and all you do. Each party must do the work of being the called soul.
Too many men are caught up in desiring a woman who wants you at your worst. Mostly cause your mind doesn’t truly believe in yourself. If it did you would expect a woman to want you at your best, but if the fear of failure kicks in you want her to stick by your side. But the truth is with two abundant mindsets, failure need not to be an option. Instead there are simply valleys, planning, financial investments and things in place to keep the empire running smoothly at all times. An empire of course has multiple sources of income. It’s also ran not by you working hard to pay for your house, but by making investments that pay for. Time together as a couple is what is going to grow you. Prosperity and abundance is what allows you to focus on other things like family and love. But how are you going to get to the point, if you deny yourself of true love in the first place?
When a woman has a winning heart, she wants to win in both business and love. You can’t win in love, if it’s not important to you. Love can’t be solely focused on finances. It need not be. For true loves creates abundance, wealth, and prosperity. So many people see this all wrong. That’s why it’s important to have a woman with VISION. Her heart is going to lead her there. Her heart and vision frees your soul up to CREATE. A man providing and making her feels safe allow her to freely CREATE. When times get a little rough, such a woman can not inspire you to a breakthrough. VISION is not a plus, but a requirement. When she seeks real love, she’s simply going to play her part. Another woman who doesn’t care, also don’t mind if it all falls apart. Her mind is focused on the next man who will rescue her.
In the end it’s a must that you have a woman that knows how to cater to the KING in you. 💋👑
It’s not about the money. It’s about THE DREAM. Work with a woman ON YOUR LEVEL, instead of trying to turn a 3D woman, into something she’s not. ❤️🦄
Gentlemen, you must understand a rule of thumb. Conversation rules the nation. It rules in sales, in rules in service and and rules with women too.
So many men come to me saying they want to date an attractive, beautiful, heart-centered boss chick. His heart is in the right place. His mind is also in the right place. But he has no idea how to get what he wants when it comes to women.
A man needs to know his target. It’s just like anything else. A certain set of sequences will lead to your desired result.
A man has to understand that attractive, brilliant boss chicks, do not like casual conversation. She cares about 5 things. Her family, the financial well being of her business, her purpose, love and food. If she’s also into spirituality, she literally has to feel a divine connection to you.
Messaging her asking a a bunch of questions about nothing or not being able to sustain a conversation that has some degree of intellect, will have her quickly bored with you. Divine conversations start off better than that.
Even in the event she answers your inbox, chances are you only get one shot. No airballs allowed, but that’s exactly what most men do. Constantly shooting airballs. She has enough inboxes from airball men. Those kind of men make women feel hopeless. Can you imagine getting 50 inboxes in one week, and 49 of them came from a lame? That’s most women’s inboxes. Men filter themselves. She already knows not to reply.
If you don’t get what you want, from a woman it is often due to your own lack of intellect. Low vibing men even feel it necessary pull a flagrant foul, after they get politely dismissed. He has no understanding that he’s really mad at himself.
A gentleman caters to a woman’s mind and her heart. He caters to her senses and delights her. To get past her brain, you must conquer your own. It’s not carnal.
For every man I see harshly complaining about women, I see an immature man who has not learned how to be a gentleman. I see a man who hasn’t learned the art of stroking a woman’s mind. I see a man who settled for less in the past. I see a man who still isn’t choosing the best reading materials. So many men feel they are super smart when they get into self-help books. But if you haven’t learned that you should be the ultimate man who pleases your woman, then you haven’t learned nothing.
Amazing women are indeed a challenge. They don’t necessarily need a man for the things other women need men for. But they require that plus more. They need Kings who can handle their power. They need a good man who has taken full ownership of his own divinity. She needs a man with plans.
The next step is to move into her heart chakra. Everything has to be choreographed. Love is a dance. You’ll only see the flower, after you slowly pull back the layers.
Buy my book or message me to work with me 1 on 1 to BECOME THE MAN. It’s the only way you’ll remove the thoughts installed by basic chicks. Those thoughts are repelling the amazing women you want.
Men have so much more power than you realize. But you won’t know this, when you were programmed for less than you deserve. You only receive back, what you put out into the world. You receive from a woman, what you put into her.
Don’t expect a woman to stoop down and be less for you. Doing that is why you’re in the position you are in now. Cause if you put in more effort, you would have access to high value women that inspire you to climb higher.
P.S. If you focused on getting your money up, and being the man God called you to be, you’d have a 7 Figure empire and more access to high value women. 🤷♀️ Everything you want is in the direction of up. ⏏️ Everything you want, comes from working on yourself. Women do a lot of work on themselves. Catch up.
I really like brilliant, charming men who treat me like a Queen, show me respect, understand my intellect, give me money, buy the things, support my business, value me and appreciate me. Those kind of men nurture me. I don’t care what anybody says. They are the better men. A woman shouldn’t settle for any less than that.
Amazing men make your life better. They make it easy to simply be you. They make it easy to wake up every day and nourish him, so that he grows and prospers. He makes it easy by being so good to you.
Such men have figured it out. He has learned the art of going after what he wants and maintaining peace, love and happiness. That kind of man will always win in life, as long as he has a good woman. Brilliant, charming men need nothing more than a muse. He’ll always be rich, when he’s with a Goddess.
