Black women are the fastest growing entrepreneurs on the planet for ONE reason.
You’re not going to like this truth.
Black women are pretty confident. Especially the boss chicks. Heck, many of us overcame poverty, had our heart broke, dealt with a string of unhealed men who abused us and took from us, and still came out successful.
There’s not much you can tell a boss chick.
But look at this.
Single mothers and 50/50 women have raised their sons to be accustomed to seeing black women working hard. So when you meet their sons, it’s actually no surprise that he doesn’t want to see you living it up. He wants to see you working just as hard as him.
So now he’s not going to give you a lifting hand. He’s not going to help you. Instead he wants you to help him. This even makes sense in a boss chick’s eyes. She believes that a man should choose her because “She’s a Boss,” she can help him with his business and she gets money.
In fact that’s most of the reason she’s so successful anyway. Black men told her to not ask for anything that she can’t give to herself, and to not expect help from him or any man. So she helped herself to the lifestyle she wanted by WORKING HARD. She’s a workhorse.
She feels that maybe if she works hard to prove herself to a man, then just maybe she’ll be good enough to be loved by him. Half the time she doesn’t even care if the man provides or pay bills. She simply wants to be loved and valued. She’s even willing to put in the work EFFORT to make it work. YET, most times she still doesn’t come across a man who will fully love her.
I’ve experienced abundant men who find themselves to be blessed to be in the presence of a Goddess, who will take me shopping, fly me places, give me money and pay my bills. At the same time I’ve experienced a man looking at me as simply being a woman he’s attracted to, telling me that he’s not going to spoil me the way other men do, and that men are stupid for spoiling me. And that helping a woman is considered “tricking.”
It was as if, in his eyes, I didn’t deserve to be treated with love, respect, kindness, or for men to actually assist me and make life easier and more enjoyable for me… See some men are excited by what you DO, and other men are excited by YOU.
Meanwhile he also said HE liked me and would gladly watch me struggle to do it all on my own… Waiting for me to figure it out on my own. Then MAYBE I would be loved and respected for being so strong, for accomplishing something and working in the masculine. Meanwhile he could’ve taken the nail, hammered it into the wall, and it would be done.
Such behavior reminds me of where I come from, and has caused me to have empathy for the issues I’ve had to work through. When you grow up in the hood, you definitely will have to deal with more issues than average. Mainly cause of the mindset you have to overcome. Then only to be faced with men with the same previous mindset, who’ve already predecided before he met you, that your only value, if anything, is in how hard you work; once you actually learn to value yourself. You will NEVER get a good man, if everyone in the village is a bad man. The best you can do is be alone, or choose the lesser of two evils and give it the perspective of being good, because you feel it’s the best you can do.
Fascinating. Now if I were wounded, I would choose the man who wants to do nothing for me. But because I am healed, I know to go the other way.
Not wanting to see anything be easy for a black woman is the wound of the average black man. A woman better not ask him for ANYTHING other than d*ck and time. He values himself, but not her.
A black woman’s strength is actually a reflection of that wound. Her men not providing for her, is the reason she has fast risen to the top of society. Wealth and the ability to control her life makes her feel safe.
A woman has to feel safe. Either a man is going to give it to her, or she’s going to give it to herself.
Some women do both.
Then here comes the story of those same women, who now can’t keep a man!
The storyline just keeps going, and going, and going. Like everyone single needs to hire a dating coach.
I literally eat popcorn watching it all go down. Then I eat popcorn watching my clients cancel men, then show up with a new high value man who loves her and provides, AND she knows how to keep his attention.
So what I’ve learned is the people who want it, will pay to get answers, or research endlessly trying to piece things together.
Then by the time you finally piece it all together, 5 years have passed and you’re still single.
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